Toggle navigation
Collections
Fun
Jokes
Fortune
Photo
Nicknames
Blog
ﻮﺑﻻگ
Iran
Yes, Harvard, Yale, MIT, Oxford, The Sorbonne, The Louvre [pron.
Home
›
Fortune Cookies
›
The Simpsons
Yes, Harvard, Yale, MIT, Oxford, The Sorbonne, the Louvre [pron.
Loove-rah].
-- Lionel Hutz, attorney at law, listing his degrees,
"Bart Gets Hit by a Car"
Related:
Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law. What's that, a broken neck?
Great! -- Chasing a gurney down the corridor, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
Hutz: Hutz is the name, Mr. Simpson. Lionel Hutz, attorney at law.
Here's my card. It turns into a sponge when you put it in water....
The Supreme Court called again. They need your help on some freedom thing.
-- Della, Lionel Hutz' secretary, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
Mr. Simpson, the state bar forbids me from promising you a big cash settlement.
But just between you and me, I promise you a big cash settlement....
With all due respect, Mrs. Simpson, you're not a doctor, the boy's not a doctor, the only person who even comes CLOSE is this man [Nick Riviera].
-- Lionel Hutz responding to Marge's skepticism, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
Lisa: Excuse me, Mr. Hutz. Are you a shyster? Hutz
How does a nice little girl like you know a big word like that?...
Homer: The doctor says it's just a bump on the head and a broken toe, nothing serious.
Hutz: Pfft. Doctors. Doctors are idiots! -- "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
Bailiff: Do you promise to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Marge: Mmm... Yes, I do. Hutz: She sounded like she was taking that awful seriously....
Satan: Remember: Lie, cheat, steal, and listen to heavy metal music!
Bart: Yes, sir! -- Some parting advice, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...