Related:

• Apu: Oh, hello, Mrs. Homer. I brought an assortment of jerkys.
  Homer: Oh, did you swipe those from work? Apu: Certainly not....
• Apu: What a donnybrook, eh, Mr. Burns? Burns: Oh, hogwash!
  Why, I once watched Gentleman Jim Corbett fight an Eskimo fellow bare-knuckled for a hundred and thirteen rounds!...
• I just want to call attention to the fact that I'm not watching this fight as my form of nonviolent protest.
  -- Lisa refuses to watch stolen cable, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandme...
• Karl: Hey, way to save our lives! Len: Yeah, we owe you one!
  Homer: Yeah, you know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman....
• Homer: Hey, how'd you get in here? Man: Oh, your door wasn't locked in any serious way.
  -- Homer finds a man in his living room, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandme...
• Marge: Now wait a minute, I'm not sure about this. Every time we've ever gone on vacation I end up being horribly embarrassed.
  We end up in a big fight and we come home more miserable than when we left....
• I hate to interrupt your judging me, but I wanted you to know that I've made a couple of really important decisions.
  Number 1: I'm cutting the cable as soon as the fight's over, and Number 2...
• I'll get my brother Sanjay to cover for me. He deplores violence of all kinds.
  -- Apu excited about watching the upcoming fight, "Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandme...
• Cop: Word on the street is that you have an illegal cable hookup.
  Homer: No! No, I... It wasn't me. It was my wife....