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• I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such TV series as "Buck Henderson, Union Buster" and "Troy and Company's Summertime Smile Factory".
  -- I Can't Believe They Invented It! "Saturdays of Thunde...
• A few weeks ago, I was a washed-up actor with a drinking problem.
  Then Brad Goodman came along and gave me this job and a can of fortified wine!...
• As God as my witness, I can pass the fourth grade! -- Bart, "Bart Gets an F
• Marge: Mmm, Lisa, you don't look well. Lisa: I'll make it Mom.
  Just tape my lunchbox to my hand. -- Lisa wakes up ill, "Bart's Dog Gets an F...
• Selma: Now, Mr. McClure, would you like to take off those glasses, and read the top line?
  [points to an eye chart] Troy: Err... W... 7... star....
• Hello, I'm actor Troy McClure. You kids might remember me from such educational films as "Lead Paint, Delicious But Deadly" and "Here Comes the Metric System!
  -- "Bart's Friend Falls in Love...
• You! Wandering mongrel! Get out of my Mom and Pop operation.
  -- Apu shooing Santa's Little Helper away, "Bart's Dog Gets an F...
• Look at my eyes! See the sincerity? See the conviction?
  See the fear? -- Bart learns he might be held back a grade, "Bart Gets an F...
• I will not fake my way through life. -- Bart's blackboard punishment, "Bart Gets an F