Related:

• Bart: Look, my stomach really hurts. Doris: All I can give you are these chewable Prozac for kids.
  Your choice: Manic Depressive Mouse, or the Bluebird of Unhappiness....
• a scream is heard from the room above] Skinner: Bart Simpson!
  I know it's you! -- Principal Skinner fills in for Miss Hoover, "Lisa's Substitute...
• Bart: People, people! It's time we all discussed the pool safety rules!
  Kids: [chanting] Jump, Bart, jump! Jump, Bart, jump!...
• Skinner: All right, first academic alert: Wiggum, Ralph.
  Ralph: I won, I won! [walks on stage] Skinner: No no, Ralph, this means you're failing English....
• Bart: But I saw the murder and then I saw you bury the corpse in the back yard!
  Ned: [weeping] All right, it's true. I am a murderer!...
• Skinner walks in, sees Homer] Skinner: What's _he_ doing here?
  Bart: Well once he found out we were going to get Ned Flanders fired, he _insisted_ on helping....
• Skinner: Let's see: Tide...Cheer...Bold...Biz...Fab.
  ..All...Gain...Wisk. I believe today I will try....
• Edna: And now, Principal Skinner will tell us where we'll be going on this year's field trip.
  Skinner: Thank you, Edna, everyone. [clears throat] Now, class, I wonder who among you can tell me what this is?...
• Milhouse: Bart, look! It's Principal Skinner. And I think he's gone crazy -- he's not wearing a suit or tie or anything!
  Bart: [approaches him] Principal Skinner? Um, I'm real sorry about my dog getting you fired, and biting you, and then getting it on with your leg....