Related:

• Marge, it's times like this I'm glad I flunked out of that Mexican med school.
  -- Gregory, the masseuse at Rancho Relaxo, "Homer Alone...
• I want to be a veterinarian because I love children.
• When you're dating you're so insecure. My last relationship, I was always there for her and she dumped me.
  I told her about it. I said, "Remember when your grandma died?...
• Postmaster General: The days of the gun-toting, disgruntled postal worker went out with the Macarena.
  Principal Skinner: I'm just glad I work in an elementary school. Episode: Sunday, Cruddy Sunday...
• Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these. -- Ovid (43 B.C. - A.D. 18)
• Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these. Ovid (43 BC - 18 AD)
• We'll all be glad when I figure this stuff out, eh?
• Birth, school, work, death. About sums it up, I think.