Related:

• Now... Sit! I said, Sit! [Santa's Little Helper walks away] Um, take a walk.
  Sniff that other dog's butt. See? He does exactly what I tell him....
• Homer: Hi, Marge. Hi, Santa's Little Helper. Hi, kids.
  HEY! That's not Santa's Little Helper! Marge...
• Bart: Hey, boy, you want to play fetch? [SLH looks up, tired, then puts his head back down] Aw.
  Me and Santa's Little Helper used to be a team, but he never wants to play any more since his bitch moved in....
• Homer: We can't lose! Look at the name of the dog I bet on.
  Marge: "She's The Fastest"...Homer, I don't think that means necessarily -- Announce...
• Lisa: This is our pet. We can question his integrity and disposition, but we can't question his heart.
  Are you trying to teach us that the way to solve a problem with something we love is to throw it away?...
• And if he runs away, he won't be hard to catch.
• You son of a bitch. Good show!
  -- Dog obedience instructor to Santa's Little Helper, "Bart's Dog Get an F...
• Homer: Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food.
  So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back -- or you can go out there and find your dog....
• Marge: Oh, Homer, there seems to be a lot of good obedience schools here.
  Bart: Oh, school, right, yeah, that's your answer to everything....