Related:

• Homer: ...and his _wife_ comes through the door! Ba
  [bored] So? Homer: Did I mention that she was dead?...
• Marge: Homer! Get ready! Patty and Selma will be here any minute.
  Homer: D'oh! Oh no...better ride this one out in the closet....
• Marge: Wow. He went from stinking rich to just plain stinking!
  [laughs] [Homer and Bart start laughing with her] Ba...
• Homer: Hey, who cut something out of my paper? [Homer stares suspiciously through the newspaper hole at his wife and children] Lisa
  Not me. Bart: Not me. I'm more of a mail-tamperer....
• Bart+Lisa: HAP-PY BIRTH-DAY! Homer: [alarmed] Aaggh!
  Whaa... What! Lisa: Here's your birthday breakfast!...
• Bart: Cheer up, Homer. Homer: Can't. Bart: [happily] OK.
  Marge: What if you pretended that this couch were a bar?...
• Bart: Why would anybody want to touch a girl's butt?
  That's where cooties come from! Lisa: Dad, I don't understand....
• Homer: Lisa, honey, are you going to be OK? Lisa: Bleeding Gums was my hero and I never got to tell him how I felt.
  Homer: Oh, I'm sure he knew, and I'm sure that wherever he is now, he's happy....
• Marge: Homer, maybe fame and fortune aren't as bad as they say.
  Woman 1: If I hear one more thing about the Simpsons, I swear, I'm going to scream....