Email Facts Of Life

1. Big companies don't do business via chain letter. Bill Gates is not
giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation. There is no
baby food company issuing class-action checks. You can relax; there is no need
to pass it on "just in case it's true". Furthermore, just because someone
said in the message, four generations back, that "we checked it out and
it's legit", does not actually make it true.

2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in a
bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to their
cousin. If you are hellbent on believing the kidney-theft ring stories, please
see: http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm
And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests
for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories.
None have." That's "none" as in "zero". Not even your friend's cousin.

3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if they
do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy at:
http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html Then, if you make the recipe, decide
the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on.

4. We all know all 500 ways to drive your roommates crazy, irritate
co-workers and creep out people on an elevator. We also know exactly how many
engineers, college students, Usenet posters and people from each and every
world ethnicity it takes to change a lightbulb

5. Even if the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that
went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this
information would reach the public via an AOL chain-letter?

6. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever
forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm it
at an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with virii. Try:
http://www.norton.com . And even then, don't forward it. We don't care.

7. If your CC: list is regularly longer than the actual content of your
message, you're probably going to Hell.

8. If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email, turn off the
"HTML encoding." Those of us on Unix shells can't read it, and don't care
enough to save the attachment and then view it with a web browser, since
you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe
anyway.

9. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a
friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing
everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months. It sure wouldn't hurt
to get rid of all the ">" that begin each line. Besides, if it has gone
around that many times - I've probably already seen it.

10. Craig Shergold in England is not dying of cancer or anything else at
this time and would like everyone to stop sending him their business cards.
He apparently is also no longer a "little boy" either.