Aviation

Direct from the ABS convention at IWS (West Houston, TX)
On arrival day for the ABS convention, an FAA Flight Check aircraft showed up to flight check the instrument approaches at IWS....
This story is TRUE: told by the pilot and confirmed by ATC.
Southend ATC: National 676 - Cleared for takeoff...
From: glennw@cbnewsm.cb.att.com (glenn.r.wesley) Newsgroup
ec.aviation Subject: Flying Jokes Collection - 3rd of 3 Date...
Glenn Wesley PP-ASEL att!alux5!glennw 220 hrs and climbing.
My favorite ATC story involves an old-timer who would get rather excited when it got busy.
It seemed as if he would think up zingers at home and use 'em at some convenient moment....
ATC: "N123YZ, say altitude." N123YZ: "ALTITUDE!" ATC
N123YZ, say airspeed." N123YZ: "AIRSPEED!" ATC...
Anyway, I heard these two on the air this week: (Scene 1
it's night over Las Vegas, information hotel is current and mooney 33W is unfamiliar and talking to approach control) Approach...
This is McCarren International departure information Delta.
2100 zulu, [weather, approach information, notams, etc....
Q: How many Northwest pilots does it take to fly a DC-9?
>A: Two, and a fifth Hmm. Sounds like an offshoot of Exxon tanker jokes to me....
How do you send a 2 dimensional man to New York? By Plane.
What side of the plane should he sit on?...