Creative Answering Machine Messages

Creative Answering Machine Messages

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Hello. You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages.
My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean....
Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now.
If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now....
Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone.
This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device.
Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can.
Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometime...
Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you.
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency.
We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up....
Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone.
Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it....
I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember.
I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something abou...
I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills.
If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please...

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