Creative Answering Machine Messages

Creative Answering Machine Messages

Home › Short Jokes › Creative Answering Machine Messages

Loud heavy-metal music in background; raspy voice:) Hello, this is the executioner.
Joe can't come to the phone right now because he's DEAD!...
Tim's dead! And God only knows where Lisa is!
Drunken voice:) You have reached Bob's hotline. We are not able to respond due to uninevitable circumcisions.
But if you leave your name and noomber, we won't be in wonder... pa-a-a-a!...
Hello, this is Marlin's answering machine reminding you that yesterday was the last day of the previous period of your life.
After the beep you can tell me how it was, or leave some other, informative...
I can't come to the phone now, so... Hey -- that's a nice phone you have there.
Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time....
Ominous electronic background music:) In honor of Halloween, I'm about to perform an unspeakable pagan ritual.
So please leave a message. Unless you're a virgin, in which case, why don't you stop by?...
Bridge, Kirk here.
Starship Enterprise, Uhura here, can you hold please?
Captain, there is a transmission coming in on hailing frequency seven, do you want it on screen?...
Star Trek theme in the background:) (Voice 1:) Room 17, the final frontier.
(Voice 2:) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine....
Hello, you've reached 344-1312, the Apartment at the End of the Universe.
Please leave your message, name and number at the sound of the tone....

< previous

5

6
7
8
9
next >