Creative Answering Machine Messages

Creative Answering Machine Messages

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No! NO! Not THAT! Anything but that! Not the beep! No!
Please! Not the beep! Anything but the beep! AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!...
This is the National Security Emergency Password Notification Network.
To initiate destruct sequence, call the CIA with today's password....
After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money.
I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding....
The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.
Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it!
Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll...don't even think about it!....Don't....!...
This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and number and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary word.
Today's word is acetylcholinesterase {or clitoris, or scaphoid...
Must have good Australian accent] G'day mate. Can't come to the phone now because I'm a bit tied up with this crocodile.
Just leave a message, and I'll get back to you....
Note the spelling in this one!] After the tone, please leave a massage--my shoulders really could use it, and, what?
You're only supposed to leave a MESSAGE? Darn.......
Bwana fella no home now, so you fella leave talkie-talk.
Bwana 'im big fella mek talkie-talk back real fas'....

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