Fun With Your Roommate

Fun With Your Roommate

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Remove your door. Ship it to your roommate's parents (postage due).
Pray to Azazoth or Zoroaster. Sacrifice something nasty.
Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up.
Announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks....
Array thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser. Refuse to discuss them.
Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with "Didja ever wonder why.
..." Be creative....
Shave one eyebrow.
Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe.
If your roommate comments, mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching viol...
Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall.
Complain loudly that you can never find the book that you want....
Always flush the toilet three times.
Subsist entirely on pickles for a week. Vomit often.

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