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• Rejected Sidekick Names 15> The Sidekick Formerly Known as Tonto 14> Al Gore 13> HansonLad 12> Andrew Ridgely 11> Guano Boy 10> The Lapdance Kid 9> Minor in a Dubious Living Arrangement With a Bachelor Mentor 8> VomitBoy 7> Caller of 911 6> Easily-Wedgied Wally 5> Passive-Agressive Middle Child 4> The Well-Meaning But Decidedly Dense Guy 3> Buttockshead 2> Vulnerabo and the Number 1 Rejected Sidekick Name.
  .. 1> The Mighty Colosto This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc....
• Ways to Commemorate the 20th Anniversary of Elvis Presley's Death 15> Have the King exhumed, breaded, deep-fried & reburied.
  14> For crying out loud, he's NOT DEAD! How many 7-11 sightings does it take to CONVINCE you people?...
• The Top 15 Rejected Pro Wrestling Names 15> Peaches & Herb (tag team) 14> Macho
  Macho Man 13> Cyberboy Gates 12> Andre the Vertically Enhanced Weinie 11> Jimmy the Carter 10> Liberace, Jr....
• New Movies Starring Christian Slater 15> "Biting Raoul" 14> "Dentl" 13> "Alien IV
  Going Back In" 12> "Belly Jack" 11> "Breakfast at Tiffany's Spleen" 10> "Edward Scissorteeth" 9> "Untasted Heart" 8> "Young Gums" 7> "The Three Mouthketeers" (with Marv Albert and Mike Tyson) 6> "Broken Arrow Shirt" 5> "My Dinner of Andre" 4> "The Story of a Man Who Went, Without Surgery, From An Being an Outie to an Innie" 3> "Who's That Eating Gilbert Grape?...
• Signs Your Band Will Never Win a Grammy 16> Since name "U2" is taken, manager suggests "USuck.
  15> Your esoteric blend of polka and speed metal was bad enough, but signing David Lee Roth was career suicide....
• Things Overheard at the World Series 16> "...and now, here's the new owner of the Marlins, Mr.
  Tony Montana." 15> "These long games must be part of NBC's 'Must-Sleep TV' programming strategy....
• Lesser Known Opponents of Godzilla 15> His evil twi
  Godzima 14> Hemorrhoithra 13> A creeping malaise, caused by his being agnostic and painfully aware of his own cosmic insignificance 12> Deepakchopra 11> Tony "The Taxidermist" Bouffanti 10> ManRay...
• Old TV Show Plots Updated for the 90's (Part I) 15> "Gidget Dot Com" -- Jenny McCarthy stars as Gidget the world-famous Webmistress and part-time model.
  14> "The Love Boat" -- Doc sells Isaac's and Gopher's kidneys to pay for his new girlfriend's crack habit....
• The Top 16 Cartoon Characters Who Failed to Catch On 16> Bugs Bobbitt 15> Peter Rabbi 14> Heidi and the Pussycats 13> Dagmar and Rune
  he anatomically correct Swedish crimefighters 12> Pepe LePuke 11> MilitiaMan and the UnaBomber Squad 10> Herman the Squeezable Mollusk 9> Sparkles, the 3-legged puppy with an eye infection 8> Namby-Pamby Man 7> Intravenous Todd and Metaphor, the Really, Horrible Rotten Horse 6> Strom 'n Jesse 5> The Tasmanian Dustbunny 4> Lil' Pus, the Oozing Scab-Faced Boy 3> Victor Vulture, Attorney at Law 2> Yosemite Todd, Sam's "Houseboy" and the Number 1 Cartoon Characters Who Failed to Catch On....