10. Eggnog smells suspicously like Liquid Paper.
9. Anyone caught under mistletoe gets choked by Latrell Sprewell *
8. Because of "corporate downsizing," Santa is only 120 pounds
7. Only food available is something called "reindeer kebabs."
6. Last time you saw this much sucking up was on the Tommy
Lee-Pamela Anderson videotape
5. "Christmas tree" is just a fat intern in a green sweater
4. For the 16th year in a row, the Canadian band leader has passed
out in the eggnog
3. Thanks to the alcohol-free punch, not a single butt gets
photocopied
2. Boss offers to give you a raise, and he's not talking about
money
1. It's held every year on July 23rd
