Related:

• There are three kinds of people in the world; those who can count and those who can't.
  And the related: There are two groups of people in the world...
• Two drunks are sitting in the gutter watching a dog lick his private parts.
  One says to the other "Gee I wish I could do that....
• A retired dentist who loves to fish. "Open wide," he mutters to the unseen fish as he waits for a tug on the line.
  Now bite down. This may sting just a little bit....
• There was the cartoon showing two people fighting over a cow.
  One was pulling the cow by the tail; the other was pulling on the horns....
• When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
  One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....
• From a booklet entitled "New Work Habits for a Radically Changing World" "They're only puttin' in a nickel, but they want a dollar song".
  ... (Song Title) "I have a microwave fireplace....
• Bob, Don and Joe were lifelong friends. Suddenly one day Joe disappeared.
  Everybody was helping Bob and Don find Joe, until Bob and Don remembered that Joe had two assholes....