Some Great Things About Getting Older...
** Finally you can eat dinner at 4:00
** Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
** Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
** It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.
** If you've never smoked you can start now and it won't have time to hurt
you.
** People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
** Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them
either.
** Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
** Your eyes won't get much worse.
** Things you buy now won't wear out.
** No one expects you to run into a burning building.
** You don't need the shingles with the 30 year guarantee.
** There is no need to spend money for a psychic to see your future.
** There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
** Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.
** Buying cheap tires and not rotating them makes economic sense.
** You don't have to learn the name of the new UPS man.
** No one thinks you're cheap because you don't buy a half a cow to freeze.
** You may never have to vacuum under the bed again.
** Taking the shortest magazine subscription is economically defensible.
** You don't have to bother planting perennials.
** In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
