Related:

• How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles.
  "My dear woman," Darrow replied, "ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question....
• A lawyer and a physician had a dispute over precedence.
  They referred it to Diogenes, who gave it in favor of the lawyer as follow...
• A woman from the south was attending a social gathering up north and tried striking up a conversation .
  .. "Where're you all from?" she asked to a group of ladies....
• All The Thanks I Need... A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned.
  The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• Church Humor Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed
  "The Gate of Heaven". Below that was a small cardboard sign which read...
• Stuck on an Island An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation.
  He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life....
• kin graft There was a married couple who were in a terrible accident.
  The woman's face was burned severely. The doctor told the husband they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was so thin....
• Proof By Intimidation ----- -- ------------ A Horse has an infinite number of legs.
  A horse has two legs in back and forelegs in front....