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• it is alive The old lady who lived next door to my grandmother was a known lush around town and liked to call the police if my granny's dog was loose.
  One rainy day granny and I were sitting on the porch watching the rain and waiting for the dog to finish his "business"....
• LIFE IN THE SLAW LANE by Kip Adotta It was Cucumber the Fi
  Summer was over. I had just spinached a long day and I was busheled....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• The Wizard of Zone Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived on a farm.
  He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy....
• There was this young boy coming of age and his father wanted to show him the facts of life.
  So he gave him 20 bucks and sent him down to the local brothel to have a good time....
• THE DARWIN AWARDS Date: December,1997 The Darwin Award is made each year to the person who has managed to kill themselves (and therefore prevent the survival of their genes - hence Darwin!
  ) in the most bizarre way imaginable. Previous winners have included the man killed when the vending machine he was trying to extract a can of Coke from fell on him, and last years aviator who strapped a JATO module (rocket) to his car and lit the blue touchpaper....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• RACIAL/ETHNIC There were these two men drinking together in a bar.
  One was of Chinese extraction, the other Jewish....
• THE CIVIL SERVANT'S DOG ----------------------- Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were.
  The first was an engineer who said his dog could draw....