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• Three bums - Dusty, Jake and Loner - were walking down some railroad tracks when Jake stops and asked the other two, "Hey, did either of you guys shit in your pants?
  Dusty and Loner both replied, "Not me Jake." "Well, I smell shit, and I think it's coming from one of you guys," said Jake....
• One day, three nuns were talking while enjoying their cups of tea, when one of the nuns leaned towards the other two and whispered, "I'm in such a dilemma, sisters, and I don't know what to do.
  Maybe you can help me. When I was cleaning the Father's room, I found a box of condoms in his dresser drawer, and now I don't know whether or not to tell Bishop....
• A man was cleaning up the elephant's dung at the circus one day when a fellow walked up and asked him "Is that what you do all day?
  "Yup. Been doin' it fer yars!" He replied. "Man I would never clean elephant sh*t for a living....
• THE SHIT LIST Ghost Shit -- You know you've shit.
  There's shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the toilet....
• A priest and a rabbi, long time friends, were having lunch together one day.
  ] Downing a forkful of fish, the priest asked the rabbi, "Sam, in all your entire life, do you mean to tell me that you have never ONCE tasted pork?...
• When a man was reading the newspaper, his wife asked, "Will you still love me when I'm old and gray?
  Sure I do," he mumbled....
• The fireman told his wife, "From now on we're going to do things right - by the bells, like we do it at the firehouse.
  When I ring one bell, you meet me at the door with a kiss....
• One day Miss Smith told her class, "Today we're going to use the word 'definitely' in a sentence.
  Nancy?" Nancy said, "The sky is definitely blue." Miss Smith corrected her, "No - sometimes it's overcast and the sky is gray....
• Daffynitions Meter maid: Windshield viper ? Subjec
  Swiftiers "No negroes allowed!" Jim crowed. "You can do it!...