Related:

• Things You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support ** "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?
  ** "...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it....
• The Canonical List of Telephone Answering Machine Messages "Hi!
  I don't exist at the moment, but if you leave your message, name and number, I'll call you back when I am....
• An assemblage of the most gifted minds in the world were all posed the following questio
  "What is 2 * 2 ?" The engineer whips out his slide rule (so it's old) and shuffles it back and forth, and finally announces "3....
• I'm sorry, Dave; I'm afraid I can't do tha
• Three men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere.
  One of the three men says, "I've got an idea. We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far....
• Background: Something spacy, like "A Saucerful Of Secrets" by Pink Floyd.
  ) (Try to sound like Carl Sagan.) Who are you? Where do you come from?...
• Deadpan voice:) Hi, This is Dave. Please leave a message as soon as possible and I'll get back to you at the sound of the tone.
• From Sourcebook Magazine, Summer 1990, by Dan Gutma
  Would the invention of the telephone ever have gotten off the ground if Alexander Graham Bell's first call had gone ....
• Jerk! Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make.
  I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?...