Related:

• The Poles have a saying about how communist governments rewrite history
  "Only the future is certain; the past is always changing" A would-be bandit failed because he had written a holdup up note on another bank's withdrawal slip....
• The Wizard of Zone Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived on a farm.
  He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy....
• RACIAL/ETHNIC There were these two men drinking together in a bar.
  One was of Chinese extraction, the other Jewish....
• A man was very shy, and couldn't speak to more than two people at a time without getting nervous.
  His boss and wife both suggested that he take an Andrew Carnegie course....
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• A tribe of Native Americans generally referred to their woman by the animal hide with which they made their blanket.
  Thus, one woman might be known as Squaw of Buffalo Hide, while another might be known as Squaw of Deer Hide....
• When I was in a six person suite of rooms, one of my room mates was a witch, and by coincidence, another room mate had a key to his room.
  One night the witch room mate returned to find that all six calendars in his room were set to October, and there was a pentagram of pencils on his desk....
• THE DARWIN AWARDS Date: December,1997 The Darwin Award is made each year to the person who has managed to kill themselves (and therefore prevent the survival of their genes - hence Darwin!
  ) in the most bizarre way imaginable. Previous winners have included the man killed when the vending machine he was trying to extract a can of Coke from fell on him, and last years aviator who strapped a JATO module (rocket) to his car and lit the blue touchpaper....
• My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
  Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments....