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• Dirty Ernie was sitting in school, in Oklahoma, on a reservation.
  It was the last day of school. The teacher said, "I will ask questions, and when you give me the right answer you can go home for the summer....
• Son: "I shoved a firecracker up a pig's ass." Dad
  We don't say 'ass,' we say 'rectum.'" ............
• One day, a teacher was testing the students' intelligence.
  Okay class, I have something behind my back which is rectangular, small and black....
• Dirty Ernie had been picking up some bad language by hanging out at the construction site down the street.
  His mother was very upset by this and asked Ernie Senior to reprimand him....
• Dirty Ernie got a duck for his birthday. He took it for walks every day and enjoyed having a pet.
  One day, Sleezy Suzy saw him walking the duck, and said, "Hey, I like your duck....
• One day Dirty Ernie is playing with his train set. The little train came around to the little station and stopped.
  So Ernie said, "All the people getting off the train, get off the fucking trai...
• A teacher was testing her class's ability to taste by giving them life- savers.
  First, she gave them all red ones and their hands went up, "Cherry!...
• One day a grade school teacher asked her students what their parents did for a living.
  Tim," she said, "What does your mother do all day?...
• One day Miss Smith told her class, "Today we're going to use the word 'definitely' in a sentence.
  Nancy?" Nancy said, "The sky is definitely blue." Miss Smith corrected her, "No - sometimes it's overcast and the sky is gray....