Related:

• Ponderables... ** Never raise your hands to your kids.
  It leaves your groin unprotected. ** I'm not into working out....
• I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.
  Ed Bluestone "Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a moron....
• Non-Sequitur Quotations "I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.
  Ed Bluestone "Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a moron....
• Why? How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
  Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?...
• How to keep a healthy level of insanity while driving other people crazy.
  .. ** At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down....
• Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
• Never sleep with anyone weirder than you ...
• You know you are from a small town if... ** You can name everyone you graduated with.
  ** You know what 4-H is. ** You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road ** You used to drag "main....
• Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
  A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster....