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• And these beauties from the radio: -Ladies and gentlemen, now you can have a bikini for a ridiculous figure.
  -Be with us again next Saturday at 10 p.m. for "High Fidelity," designed to help music lovers increase their reproduction....
• As the following classified classics will demonstrate, there are often more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than you can find in the cartoons and comic strip
  -Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered....
• A Scary Ride A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport.
  After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking....
• Ladies & Gentlemen, Elvis has left the bldg.
• Ladies and Gentlemen, Elvis has left the planet.
• 2) On a small commuter flight one sunny day, the captain was told his passengers were nervous about being on a "small airplane.
  He decided to take action: "Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain....
• Then there was the time they were flying through turbulence.
  Some of the passengers became alarmed at how much the wings were bending in the rough air and one of the flight attendants relayed that message to the captain....
• Title Search Excerpted from the Empire State Surveyo
  New York Society of Professional Surveyors, November 1990 One of the best examples of how ridiculous government paperwork can be is illustrated by a recent case in Louisiana....
• Hilarious Flight Information from the Airline Employees Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
  Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported...