Related:

• Homer: [writing] "...It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever.
  Bart: You the man, Homer! Homer: Thanks, boy! -- What it is, "Homer Goes to College...
• Homer: My first day of college. I wish my father was alive to see this.
  Abe: [springing up from the back seat] Hey! Home...
• Must destroy mankind! (His watch alarm goes off) Ooh, lunchtime!
  -- Homer Simpson Homer Goes To College...
• Marge, try to understand. There are two kinds of college stude
  jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time....
• Homer: Marge, someone squeezed all the life out of these kids.
  And unless movies and TV have lied to me, it's a crusty, bitter old Dean!...
• You heard me. I won't be in for the rest of the week .
  .. I told you. My baby beat me up ... Oh, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up....
• Marge: An A+! How did you do it? Homer: Oh, let's just say I had help from a little magic box.
  Marge: You changed your grade with a computer? Home...
• Marge: If you're going for a ride, I'd like you to take Bart and Lisa.
  Homer: [plaintively] But Marge, we're college guys and we're up to no good....
• Could this be the best day of my life? -- Homer Simpson Homer the Heretic