If I Was The Head Of A Country That Lost A War, And I Had To Sign A Peace Treaty, Just As I Was Signing I'd Glance Over The Treaty And Then Suddenly Act Surprised.

If I Was The Head Of A Country That Lost A War, And I Had To Sign A Peace Treaty, Just As I Was Signing I'd Glance Over The Treaty And Then Suddenly Act Surprised.

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If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace
treaty, just as I was signing I'd glance over the treaty and then suddenly act
surprised. "Wait a minute! I thought WE won!"
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey

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Some folks say it was a miracle. Saint Francis suddenly appeared and knocked the next pitch clean over the fence.
But I think it was just a lucky swing. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
If I had a mine shaft, I don't think I would just abandon it.
There's got to be a better way. -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait.
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When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves.
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I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.
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As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable---until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!
! -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
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-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...