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All The Plants In My House Are Dead---I Shot Them Last Night.
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All the plants in my house are dead---I shot them last night. I was teasing
them by watering them with ice cubes.
-- Steven Wright
Related:
All the plants in my house are dead -- I shot them last night.
I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. -- Stephen Wrigh...
I like to torture my plants by watering them with ice cubes.
Last night I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards.
I got a full house and four people died. -- Steven Wrigh...
My house is made out of balsa wood. When no one is home across the street, except the little kids, I go out and lift my house up over my head.
I tell them to stay out of my yard or I'll throw it at them. -- Steven Wrigh...
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier.
I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. -- Steven Wrigh...
I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint.
It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included....
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
-- Steven Wrigh...
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney... -- Steven Wrigh
I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards.
I erased all of the records. When I returned them to my friend, he said, "Hey, these records are all blank....