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• People humiliating a salami!
• APPLICATION FORM Mothers And Fathers of Italian Ancestry (M.
  A.F.I.A.) Watza-U-Name ________________________________________ U-Hage __________________ Watza-U-Howza Numbero _________________ U-Stretta _____________________________ Watza-U-Bag...
• In addition to comedy, I'm a writer. I write checks. They're not very good. -- Wendy Liebma
• People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff.
  I like to tell them I have the heart of a small boy -- and I keep it in a jar on my desk....
• I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the reader.
  But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if I find that I cannot horrify, I'll go for the gross-out....
• I am Stephen King of Borg. You will be assimilated in a horrific way.
• I would have made a good Pope. -- Richard M. Nixon (1913-1994)
• My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
  -- Stephen Wrigh...
• I try to see good in everything--it makes me horrible to live with.