Related:

• I THINK THERE SHOULD BE SOMETHING in science called the "reindeer effect.
  I don't know what it would be, but I think it'd be good to hear someone say, "Gentlemen, what we have here is a terrifying example of the reindeer effect....
• There should be a detective show called "Johnny Monkey
  because every week you could have a guy say "I ain't gonna get caught by no MONKEY," but then he would, and I don't think I'd ever get tired of that....
• I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free.
  To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality....
• I think the monkeys at the zoo should have to wear sunglasses so they can't hypnotize you.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• If someone told me it wasn't "fashionable" to talk about freedom, I think I'd just have to look him square in the eye and say, "Okay, YOU TELL ME what's `fashionable'.
  But he won't. And you know why? Because you can't ask someone what's fashionable in a smart-alecky way like that....
• I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king, because I like people to do what I say.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushe
  because then when students from another college come sniffing around, they'll know this is someone else's territory....
• If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• I think a new, different kind of bowling should be "carpet bowling.
  It's just like regular bowling, only the lanes are carpet instead of wood....