Related:

• For tomorrow I diet . . .
• Donut man: Hey, what gives? These donuts are piling up.
  Worker: Heh. Yeah, Homer Simpson went on a diet....
• I was on the grapefruit diet. I kind of goofed on that.
  For breakfast I ate fifteen grape fruits. Now when I go to the bathroom I keep squirting myself in the eye....
• I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.
  -- Ed Bluestone...
• I might be fat but you are ugly and I can diet.
• I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
• QOTD: "I'm on a seafood diet -- I see food and I eat it.
• All I hear is diet, diet and more diet. If I wanted to lose weight I'd go to a regular paint store, since most of these places sell thinner.
• I can't diet for medical reasons, it makes me HUNGRY!