Related:

• Sorry, I must have bypassed my good taste chip. -- Kryte
• Cat: Look at that collar! You could go hang gliding! -- Red Dwarf - 'Timeslides'
• My god! But I was only away two minutes!
  -- Kryten, on being told that the Nova 5 crew was dead in Red Dwarf 'Kryten'...
• Excuse me, could I please just distract you for one brief second?
  -- Kryten, distracting the Inquisitor in Red Dwarf 'Inquisitor'...
• Kryten: You are a sick, sick person! If mechanoids could barf, I'd be on to my fifth bag by now.
  -- Red Dwarf - 'Inquisitor'...
• Dogs would make totally incompetent criminals. If you could somehow get a group of dogs to understand the concept of the Kennedy assassination, they would all immediately confess to it.
  Whereas you'll never see a cat display any kind of guilty behavior, despite the fact that several cats were seen in Dallas on the grassy knoll area, not that I wish to start rumors....
• Lister: No way are these my boxer shorts -- these bend! -- Red Dwarf - 'Kryten'
• Rimmer: I thought it was the worst pile of blueberry schoolgirl mush I have ever been forced to endure.
  I consider it an insult to my backside to have to sit growing carbuncles through such putrid adolescent slush....
• Rimmer: Kryten, unpack Rachel and get out the puncture repair kit.
  I'm ALIVE!!!!!...