Related:

• Since he's been in the White House, President Reagan has gotten two hearing aids, a colon operation, skin cancer, prostate surgery, and he's been shot.
  And we, the American People, should always remember these things....
• In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update would like to remind you
  when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every computer that that computer has ever linked up to....
• It was revealed this week that the Contras are breaking up, because one of them is dating Yoko.
  -- Dennis Miller, SNL Weekend Update...
• Israel today announced that it is giving up. The Zionist state will dissolve in two weeks time, and its citizens will disperse to various resort communities around the world.
  Said Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir, 'Who needs the aggravation?...
• Two is company. Three is fifty bucks. -- Joan Rive
• Isn't it ironic that Herman Wouk's WAR AND REMEMBRANCE cost $
  110,000,000 to produce when World War II itself cost only $...
• The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaig
  Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort." -- Dennis Mille...
• The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaig
  `Hey you stinking fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort.' -- Dennis Miller, Saturday Night Live...
• In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $
  20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years....