Related:

• When the usher noticed a man stretched across three seats in a movie theatre, he walked over and whispered, "I'm sorry, sir, but you're allowed only a single seat.
  The man moaned, but did not budge. "Sir," the user said more loudly, "if you don't move, I'll have to call a manager....
• The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.
  -- Robert Benchley...
• It is when you take for yourself that you truly take.
• If you want the best seat in the house, move a cat.
• Jay: Welcome to "Coming Attractions". I'm your host, Jay Sherman, thank you.
  Tonight, we review an aging Charles Bronson in "Death Wish 9"....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Lemar's Parking Postulate: If you have to park six blocks away, you will find two new parking spaces right in front of the building entrance.
• What to do in case of an alien attack: 1) Hide beneath the seat of your plane and look away.
  2) Avoid eye contact. 3) If there are no eyes, avoid all contact....
• The Hostess will seat you now.