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• As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!
  ! -- Jack Handey...
• As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable---until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!
  ! -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• As I awoke this morning, When all things sweet are born, A robin perched upon my sill To hail a happy morn.
  He looked so young and fragile, So sweetly did he sing, That thoughts of joy and happiness Into my heart did spring....
• Bart: Lisa, will you keep it down? I'm making a crank phone call to Principal Skinner.
  Skinner: [on phone] Well, as a matter of fact, my refrigerator _wasn't_ running....
• Wolf: Come out, come out, or I'll bloooow your house in.
  Pigs: Not by the hairs of our chinny chin chin. Ba...
• I looked out my window, and saw Kyle Pettys' car upside down, then I thought 'One of us is in real trouble'.
  -- Davey Allison, re: a 150MPH crash...
• QOTD: I looked out my window, and saw Kyle Pettys' car upside down, then I thought 'One of us is in real trouble'.
  -- Davey Allison, on a 150 m.p.h. crash...
• I saw that punch coming, so I blocked it with my chin!
• Now the world has gone to bed, Darkness won't engulf my head, I can see by infrared, How I hate the night.
  Now I lay me down to sleep, Try to count electric sheep, Sweet dream wishes you can keep, How I hate the night....