Related:

• I think my career is ruined! -- Zippy the Pinhead
• First question. If I could be any animal, I would be (a) a carpenter ant, (b) a nurse shark, or (c) a lawyer bird.
  -- Ms....
• I'm walking to work this morning and it's a lovely spring day, and I'm walking up Sixth Avenue and I see one of those mime performers.
  So the mime is doing that famous mime routine where he's pretending to be trapped in a box....
• When they took the fourth amendment, I was silent because I don't deal drugs.
  When they took the sixth amendment, I kept quiet because I know I'm innocent....
• Question sixty. I prefer the smell of (a) gasoline, (b) French fries, or (c) bank customers.
• Breast feeding is popular now. It wasn't when I was growing up.
  In high school, my mom caught me with an inflatable sex doll....
• I just tested out my pit bull. Ever heard a mime scream?
• I know of no driving manual which suggests that passengers depart from the cabin of the car when going around the corner at such speeds.
  When this happened, I took evasive action, and that is when I wiped out those other five cars, the bus and the branch bank office....
• It wasn't exactly a divorce -- I was traded. -- Tim Conway