Related:

• HOLY Something containing a lot of holes, such as the Bible.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA I'M going to get struck down for that one, aren't I?...
• TRAM Large green thing which rumbles down city streets, carrying people to where they want to go.
  Generally follows a predetermined path, but in no way subscribes to outlandish concepts such as "timetables"....
• INSTRUCTIONS 1. Take your new Toxic Custard out of the box, and check that all the parts are present.
  (Main heading, body, dividing hyphens, back-issues plug, signature) 2....
• NIGHT That time of day when it isn't. Night is generally recognised by an overall lack of light, and the sudden manifestation of strange noises which feed paranoia.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• RAFFLE A way to get you to spend $2 in the mistaken belief that you have a newt's chance in a grinder of winning a hamper/car/holiday.
  There's something just not quite right about the principle of making money for charities which involves giving away expensive prizes....
• OSBORNE THE WEIRD (1621-1664) St Osborne could be seen running around the streets of Naples wearing nothing more than a tea cosy.
  Which is a pretty good reason for being known as weird....
• BED A horizontally positioned, generally soft, piece of furniture where people go to sleep.
  Apart from this, a bed can be used for... reading in....
• OBJECT Another of those words which is very good an being fairly anonymous in its description of anything, and not actually meaning very much.
  Generally most useful when you want to describe something, but are unaware what the fuck it is....
• ZODIAC Twelve symbols based on constellations that someone probably saw through a very dodgy telescope, as they ain't up there now.
  The Zodiac has become the foundation for the income of astrologers, who fall into the Useless Portion of the Population, defined by Toxic Custard to include chain letter senders, ballet instructors, opera singers and arts students....