Related:

• INHERITANCE If you are expecting a large inheritance when your grandparents snuff it, have you considered investing it in the Custard Unit Trust?
  The Custard Unit Trust has the full endorsement of the author of Toxic Custard, and has a guaranteed return of 20%(*)....
• BIBLE A bible is a book which one or more religions consider to be holy, and to be something that they should follow.
  It is of course generally rather impractical to follow books, not just because they don't often go anywhere, but also because they are not very good at public speaking, decision making, problem solving, or any of the other qualities recognised as being an advantage for leadership....
• INSTRUCTIONS 1. Take your new Toxic Custard out of the box, and check that all the parts are present.
  (Main heading, body, dividing hyphens, back-issues plug, signature) 2....
• KENNEL A place where sleeping dogs lie, shelter from rain, and chew on dubious bones dug up from other people's garden.
  Toxic Custard advice of the week is: Never steal anything from a Rottweiler's kennel....
• CUSTARD Custard is a warm, gooey yellowish substance commonly swallowed orally.
  The great Custic Civilisations of the upper Amazon are commonly credited with the invention and implementation of the first truly gooey custards....
• TOXIC CUSTARD WORKSHOP FILES Fictional alleged humour written during the early-1990s by some deranged git in Australia.
  Now known to cause permanent brain damage if consumed for long periods of time....
• The person who buys the most raffle tickets has the least chance of winning.
  -- Dr. R. F. Gumperso...
• READERS DIGEST Ever wondered how effective those mailing campaigns are?
  Toxic Custard has obtained this internal Readers Digest report....
• ZODIAC Twelve symbols based on constellations that someone probably saw through a very dodgy telescope, as they ain't up there now.
  The Zodiac has become the foundation for the income of astrologers, who fall into the Useless Portion of the Population, defined by Toxic Custard to include chain letter senders, ballet instructors, opera singers and arts students....