Related:

• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you wake up to discover your waterbed broke, then you remember that you don't have a waterbed.
• You know you're in trouble when... (1) You've been at work for an hour before you notice that your skirt is caught in your pantyhose.
  (2) Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife. (3) Your income tax check bounces....
• You know it's going to be a rotten day when... your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.
• You know you're in trouble when... 1) Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
  2) You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any....
• You know it's going to be a bad day when: you turn on the news and they're displaying emergency routes out of your city.
• You know you're in trouble when... (1) Your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
  (2) You put your bra on backwards and it fits better....
• You know it's going to be a rotten day when... you wake up face down on the pavement.
• You know it is going to be a rotten day when... You wake up to the soothing sound of flowing water.
  .. the day after you bought a waterbed....
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you wake up and your braces have locked together.