Related:

• CHURCH A church is either (a) a big, generally impressive-looking building where people go to indulge in religious activities, or (b) a rash commonly found on the upper-thigh.
  I think it's (b). One well-known cure is to dab it with a cream mixed from worm manure, cow snot and crushed caterpillars....
• INHERITANCE If you are expecting a large inheritance when your grandparents snuff it, have you considered investing it in the Custard Unit Trust?
  The Custard Unit Trust has the full endorsement of the author of Toxic Custard, and has a guaranteed return of 20%(*)....
• TOXIC CUSTARD WORKSHOP FILES Fictional alleged humour written during the early-1990s by some deranged git in Australia.
  Now known to cause permanent brain damage if consumed for long periods of time....
• BIBLE A bible is a book which one or more religions consider to be holy, and to be something that they should follow.
  It is of course generally rather impractical to follow books, not just because they don't often go anywhere, but also because they are not very good at public speaking, decision making, problem solving, or any of the other qualities recognised as being an advantage for leadership....
• INSTRUCTIONS 1. Take your new Toxic Custard out of the box, and check that all the parts are present.
  (Main heading, body, dividing hyphens, back-issues plug, signature) 2....
• READERS DIGEST Ever wondered how effective those mailing campaigns are?
  Toxic Custard has obtained this internal Readers Digest report....
• TREE Large plant form, most commonly favoured by dogs, children afflicted with climbing fixations, hungry cats, and logging companies.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• RAFFLE A way to get you to spend $2 in the mistaken belief that you have a newt's chance in a grinder of winning a hamper/car/holiday.
  There's something just not quite right about the principle of making money for charities which involves giving away expensive prizes....
• BUGGER Common suffix to the word "oh". May also have some sexual connotations, but we're not getting into all that again.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...