Related:

• Homer: Dad, how come you never gave me any encouragement?
  Maybe I could have been something more than I am....
• Abe: Hot diggety! I'm going to smooch her like a mule eating an apple!
  [demonstrates] I even bought me some special novelty dentures....
• Homer: Will you knock it off, I can't hear myself think!
  [the music stops] [thinks] I want some peanuts....
• Harvey: By now your new, improved lovelife should have you flinging woo like nobody's business.
  So to you, Mr. and Mrs. Erotic American, I bid....
• Bart: Dad! No one cares about any of your stupid dinosaur bands!
  You have the worst, lamest taste in music ever....
• Homer: You know what? Grampa: What? Homer: We're both screw-ups.
  Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy...
• Abe: And just feast your ears on this tantalizing testimonial from my own flesh and blood, the son that puts the fun in Simpson & Son, my son, Barney!
  Barney: [walks out from behind a curtain] I used to be a fat, disgusting slob....
• Bob: You...you saved my life. Bart: Yeah. I guess that means you can't ever try to kill me again!
  Bob: [sinister music] Oh, I don't know about that....
• Bart: [plays with Sergeant Thug's Mountaintop Command Post, making plane and machine gun noises] Abe
  Hey, watch it with that thing! [a missile launches out the window] My skull is eggshell-thin....