Related:

• Kirk: Why don't you tell them one of your little bedtime stories, huh?
  Like the one about how rotten it is to be married to a loser....
• Kirk: What makes you guys so special? Homer: Because Marge and I have one thing that can never be broke
  a strong marriage built on a solid foundation of routine. A Milhouse Divided...
• Kirk: You want to hear a secret, everybody? Luanne loves it, _loves_ it when I fail.
  Luanne: Oh yes, Kirk. I _love_ having to borrow money from my sister....
• Kirk: You're letting me go?! Boss: Kirk, crackers are a family food.
  Happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don't know....
• Homer: Well, I think that went pretty well. [outside, Luanne speeds away, leaving Kirk behind] Kirk
  [to staring Homer and Marge] What? -- Nah, happens to everybody, "A Milhouse Divided...
• Man: Hey, there, Kirk... Kirk: [excited] Oh, boy, what's going on?
  Patio party? Man: No, a possum drowned in the pool....
• Marge: Lisa, why don't you come sing for us? Lisa
  [marching and singing] You're a grand old flag... Kirk...
• Kirk: Singles life is great, Homer. I can do whatever I want.
  Today I drank a beer in the bathroom. Home...
• Luanne: Okay, Kirk, I'll tell a story. It's about a man whose father- in-law gave him a sweet job as manager of a cracker factory.
  Homer: Bo-ring. Luanne: A man whose complete lack of business sense and managerial impotence....