Related:

• Homer: Well, _that_ was a big bust. Is he _really_ the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?
  Apu: [growls, reaches towards Homer] Homer: No need to apologize, Apu...
• Homer: Oh, I need money. Apu: Well, if you need money, you should have at least jammed a gun in my ribs, or better yet, you could inquire about my help-wanted sign.
  Homer: You're looking for help? Apu: Yes, we need someone for the demanding yet high-profile midnight to 8am shift....
• Woods: Apu! Apu: Oh, the searing kiss of hot lead.
  How I've missed you! I mean -- I think I'm dying. -- "Homer and Apu...
• Inspector: Apu Nahasapeemapetilan, you have disgraced the Kwik-E-Mart Corporation.
  Apu: But, sir, I was only following standard procedure....
• Apu: Ohh, I fell asleep! I have forgotten everything that Mr.
  Homer taught me! Lisa: Perfect. Let's roll....
• Apu: There she is: the world's first convenience store!
  [points to store on top of mountain] Home...
• He slept, he stole, he was rude to the customers. Still, there goes the best damned employee a convenience store ever had.
  -- Apu on Homer, "Lisa's Pony...
• Apu: Oh, it's hopeless. Oh, poor Apu. Abe: Hey! The government can't control the sky.
  What if you lived in a balloon? Lisa: That's it!...
• Apu: {[holds out a towel] Good morning, sir!} Home
  {Aah!} Apu: {Relax, please. You do not have anything I have not seen before....