Related:

• Homer: Wow, `Win a trip to Washington, DC. All expenses paid, VIP tour'.
  .. Oh, it's for kids. [throws into trash] Lisa: Wait, Dad....
• Tour guide: Folks, we print more than 18 million bills a day.
  Oh, and in case you were wondering, no, we don't give out free samples....
• Tour guide: Well, that's the tour. If you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer -- Lisa
  I have one. Tour guide: Yes? Lisa: Is the remarkably sexist drivel spouted by Malibu Stacy intentional, or is it just a horrible mistake?...
• Faith: These are special VIP badges. They'll get you into places other tourists never see.
  Homer: Miss, what does the `I' stand for? Faith: Important....
• Tour guide: At this point in time, I would like to direct your attention to the particular air vehicle next to which I am currently standing.
  The Harrier Jet is one of our more dollar- intensive ordnance delivery vectors....
• Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I call it.
  Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about, Simpson?...
• Homer: [reading `Reading Digest'] Hey, a cartoon! [a woman tries to explain a pile of metal that used to be a car] "Well, dear, you always wanted a compact.
  .." [laughs] Ain't it the truth! Marge: No, it's not the truth, Homer....
• Voice: Hello. You have reached the Malibu Stacy customer service center.
  If you have a complaint about Malibu Stacy's appearance or odor, press one....
• Marge: [hearing the doorbell] Just a second! Home
  D'oh! [whimpers] Huh? [spots a bookcase] I never looked behind this whatchamacallit case before....