Related:

• Homer: [standing on one foot and singing "The Alphabet Song"] W, X, Y, and Z.
  Now I know my ABCs, won't you come and play with me....
• Homer: [awkwardly] Uh...so, let's have a conversation.
  Um...I think we'll find we have very little in common....
• Homer: Barney, give me your keys. You're too drunk to drive.
  Barney: I'm fine. Homer: OK, you leave me no option....
• Apu (Kwik-E-Mart clerk): "Haven't I seen you on TV somewhere before?
  Homer: "Nah, you have me confused with Fred Flintstone....
• Marge: Mmmm. You don't have to start drinking right away.
  I waas thinking we could go for a bike ride....
• My name is Homer, and I'm just here because the courts made me come.
  -- Homer introduces himself at the Alc-Anon meeting, "Duffle...
• Homer: Ah, TV respects me. It laughs _with_ me, not at me!
  [Turns it on; a man points at him] Man: You stupid -- [laughs uncontrollably] Home...
• Homer: Boy, you're gonna have to be punished for this.
  Bart: Dad, you punish me, but that means you have to think of a punishment, sit here and make sure I do it....
• TV: So call me now! $5 for the first minute, $2 for each additional minute!
  Homer: [dials the number] Voice: You... have reached....