The Top 15 Signs An Athlete Is Using A Banned Substance 15> Get "psyched" Before Each Competition By Banging His Head Against A Locker, Although He's On The Chess Team.

The Top 15 Signs An Athlete Is Using A Banned Substance 15> Get "psyched" Before Each Competition By Banging His Head Against A Locker, Although He's On The Chess Team.

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The Top 15 Signs An Athlete is Using a Banned Substance

15> Get "psyched" before each competition by banging his head
against a locker, although he's on the chess team.

14> Her javelin was shot down by jet fighters.

13> Killed two spectators and a line judge with his forehand lob at
this year's French Open.

12> Although a sprinter, he won both the Indy 500 *and* the
Preakness.

11> Swimmer's refusal to trim beard and wax chest costs her
valuable seconds in the 100 meter freestyle.

10> His red and yellow jersey reads, "Track Cartel de Colombia."

9> Absent-mindedly shows up at starting blocks with syringe
dangling from arm.

8> Remainder of high jump event postponed until he lands.

7> Somehow manages to win the 100-meter butterfly without getting
wet.

6> Signs new contract for $6 over 2 million years.

5> Instead of exploding out of the blocks, he just explodes.

4> According to the urine test, he's six-week's pregnant.

3> Breaks his pelvis but insists he can just "walk it off."

2> Has switched her shower song from "I Feel Pretty" to
"Old Man River."

and the Number 1 Sign An Athlete is Using a Banned Substance...

1> Forget Nike and Reebok -- he's got endorsement deals with
Merck and Glaxo.

This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc.
The Top Five List top5@walrus.com http://www.topfive.com

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