Ways President Clinton Can Distract Attention From The Scandal
10. Make guest appearance on "Ellen" as "Ricky -- The gay cabana
boy"
9. Have name of country officially changed to "Spiceworld"
8. Call himself "El Presidente" and ride around the White House
on a donkey
7. Star in new movie about misunderstood genius, "Good Bill Clinting"
6. Begin State of the union address by announcing, "I am so baked
right now, dude!" *
5. Appear on CBS special, "Presidential interns do the darndest
things"
4. Release rap album under name "puff puffy"
3. During press conference, use fly rod to yank off Sam Donaldson's
toupee
2. Appear on "Jerry Springer" and beat the crap out of Kenneth Starr
1. Start harassing himself