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• Ways President Clinton Can Distract Attention From The Scandal 10.
  Make guest appearance on "Ellen" as "Ricky -- The gay cabana boy" 9....
• Ways Oprah is Celebrating Her Victory 10. Shouting, "I'm going to buy Disneyworld!
  9. Jell-o shots with Ricki Lake. 8. Starring in new Broadway musical...
• Cool Things About Having An Affair With The President 10.
  At your request, nuclear launch code changed to "90210" 9....
• How about that footage on the news yesterday of our new Commander-in- Chief on the deck of the aircraft carrier (Teddy Roosevelt?
  ).. After throwing one of his snappy salutes (he's *almost* got that down), I half expected him to give the order, "Let's turn this thang around....
• Differences if the President Were a Monkey 16> Under threat of an embargo, Yeltsin quickly apologizes for the USSR's early space program.
  15> National Endowment for the Arts replaced by a roomful of President's relatives with typewriters....
• Allegations Against Al Gore 10. Has been covering up the fact that Janet Reno is his identical twin brother 9.
  Made hilarious prank fundraising calls under the name "Jerky Al" 8....
• Other Monica Lewinsky Nicknames For President Clinton 10.
  Puffy the intern slayer 9. Sheriff Bubba 8. The chief sexecutive 7....
• What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)... Chain Saw
  ( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can turn a chain saw off....
• POLITICALLY INCORRECT DEFINITIONS OF WHAT BILL CLINTON'S REALLY SAYING What he says.
  ...........................What he means ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "My fellow citizens"....