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• The first grade teacher assigns her class to use the word "contagious" in a sentence.
  The next day, she asks who has their assignment done....
• One Monday morning the teacher told her second grade class that each student would have to go to the blackboard and draw something exciting that happened at home on the weekend.
  Little Johnny drew a broken vase and little Mary drew a broken lamp....
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
  Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals....
• Unknown A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "Does anyone know Jesus' Mother's name?
  Susie raised her hand and said, "It was Mary....
• 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate 1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat.
  Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in....
• Naughty Johnny It is near the end of the school year, the teacher has written her reports, and there's really nothing to do.
  All the kids are restless because it's Friday afternoon and not much is happening....
• Mommy Mommy, Can I play with Grandma? Shut up kid, You've already dug her up 3 times today!
  Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn. The sheeps in the meadow, the cows in the corn....
• Little Johnny went off to his first day of school as a freshman.
  When he got home, his mother asked him how his first day of high school was....