Miscellaneous Jokes

Miscellaneous Jokes

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With the sun beginning to rise, the cabin of the jetliner was suddenly illuminated.
Who turned on the fucking lights?" a male passenger, who had been surly since boarding, snarled at a stewardess....
You were so ugly as a kid that your mother had to feed you with a sling shot ...
You were so ugly when you were born, the doctor took one look at your face, turned you over and said, "Look .
.. twins!...
You were so ugly as kid that on Halloween you're mother put peanut butter around your lips and sent you out as an asshole .
.....
Republicans understand the importance of the bondage between parent and child.
(Dan Quayle, U.S. vice-president)...
Women are like floppy disks - Smart men always keep a back-up ...
I remember when I was so depressed I was going to jump out a highrise window.
I tell you I get no respect; when they sent a priest up to talk to me he said, "On your mark....
I tell you I get no respect - A hooker once told me she had a headache ...
Do you think," asked the poll taker, "that the terms of Congressmen should be limited?
Hell no!" raged the taxpayer. "They should stay in jail as long as everyone else!...
I'm not saying her fiance' is cheap," whispered the office gossip, "but every time I get close to her engagement ring, I have an overwhelming desire for some Cracker Jacks .
.....

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